Thursday, February 21, 2013
MOMMY's BIOLOGICAL CLOCK - MINE Not YOURS!
Procreation - Offspring - When to CUT it off??? We will all be there one day or maybe some will wait til our biological clock says ... NO more, Please!! Case in Point...
Are you a mom of multiple kids of the same sex (3 boys) (3 Girls) and you keep trying for that one of the opposite sex? That one token child that will always be outnumbered!
Are you a mom of evens or odds? Needing just 3 or just 2 or just 4 or even just 1? Wanting to make it an even baseball team and then cut it off?
Do you decide to stay on the up all night path with lots of engorged breasts days, bags under the eyes, one arm muscle could squeeze a man to death from all the uplifting of heavy car seat carriers, googling over the sweet smell of a newborn baby's breath, tiny clothes to fold, and lots of "emotional" days.
(One of my faves, is the amazing smell of the newborn baby diapers... it reminds me of the Cabbage Patch kid smell.. it instantly puts me into "I want another one." mood.)
Or
Do you close that chapter, sell the maternity clothes, get rid of the "DON'T Wants" of the adorable baby clothes, embrace long nights of restful sleeping, plan long kidless vacations throughout the year, and/or take that long walk to the Urologist office with your husband to get his kibbles and bits snipped and neutered?
It's a very hard pill to swallow for some! The end of baby producing. Many that I know have struggled with closing this chapter of their lives. Doubting if it was the right decision and feeling some resentment towards their significant other.
Others couldn't wait for sex filled nights of re kindled passionate love making at a Sandals Beach Resort for Couples Only. Knowing that the baby days of feeling pent up and worn out were over.
I know some may disagree.. however, I am in charge of my biological clock and I am the one who decides to bear the burden of carrying a baby in my tummy... and I am the one who inherently has a BIOLOGICAL CLOCK that tells me when it's over.
I understand that in some cases... there are those parents that are overwhelmed with financial burdens or a child's disability or emotional welfare of their family/mother/father and need to make some hard decisions on cutting it off for the father/mother's sake as well as the well being of the family unit. I totally understand!!
However, my belief is that an emotionally sound mother should be the one who makes the decision as to whether they are "done" having children. Our biological clocks are geared to reproduce and create life. I feel that mother nature will tell me when it's time.
(Some may disagree... I understand.. it's not a religious thing for me ... it's purely a decision based on my clock and what my body is telling me)
TO understand a little more about the female biological clock ... check out this article regarding the onset of a fertility meter and how the body prepares or responds... It's quite fascinating!!!
I found ....
Are you a mom of multiple kids of the same sex (3 boys) (3 Girls) and you keep trying for that one of the opposite sex? That one token child that will always be outnumbered!
Are you a mom of evens or odds? Needing just 3 or just 2 or just 4 or even just 1? Wanting to make it an even baseball team and then cut it off?
How many of you are at the crossroads of life where you say.... Hmmmmm one more/two more or what we got is enough?
(One of my faves, is the amazing smell of the newborn baby diapers... it reminds me of the Cabbage Patch kid smell.. it instantly puts me into "I want another one." mood.)
Or
Do you close that chapter, sell the maternity clothes, get rid of the "DON'T Wants" of the adorable baby clothes, embrace long nights of restful sleeping, plan long kidless vacations throughout the year, and/or take that long walk to the Urologist office with your husband to get his kibbles and bits snipped and neutered?
It's a very hard pill to swallow for some! The end of baby producing. Many that I know have struggled with closing this chapter of their lives. Doubting if it was the right decision and feeling some resentment towards their significant other.
Others couldn't wait for sex filled nights of re kindled passionate love making at a Sandals Beach Resort for Couples Only. Knowing that the baby days of feeling pent up and worn out were over.
The reason why I have decided to blog about this sensitive topic because... it will one day be my reality.
&
&
I feel that Ultimately .... it's my decision!!!
I understand that in some cases... there are those parents that are overwhelmed with financial burdens or a child's disability or emotional welfare of their family/mother/father and need to make some hard decisions on cutting it off for the father/mother's sake as well as the well being of the family unit. I totally understand!!
However, my belief is that an emotionally sound mother should be the one who makes the decision as to whether they are "done" having children. Our biological clocks are geared to reproduce and create life. I feel that mother nature will tell me when it's time.
(Some may disagree... I understand.. it's not a religious thing for me ... it's purely a decision based on my clock and what my body is telling me)
TO understand a little more about the female biological clock ... check out this article regarding the onset of a fertility meter and how the body prepares or responds... It's quite fascinating!!!
It's funny because when you go to the doctor and they tell you the statistics of birth defects over a certain age and the risk involved it doesn't become such an issue unless you are at that age and someone is telling you.... "Decisions will need to be made over the course of 5 years."
With that.. in my mind.. my body is telling me.. Ummmm she doesn't know what she is talking about.. I am young, healthy and have 3 healthy kids.. I have it in me for at least 10 more. Don't put a time limit on me.
(comment based purely on my emotional reaction)
(comment based purely on my emotional reaction)
My husband understands and knows that ultimately it is my decision. He only wants for me to be healthy. He would have 10 more kids as long as I am here to take care of all of them WITH him.
In many marriages I have seen... once it's over ... the relationship and sex takes on a whole other meaning. 'We are doing it...just because .... no risks involved ...no what ifs.' Does that mean that the sex is not has significant and becomes apart of a daily/weekly routine?
I found ....
Women start regretting the decision and get baby fever and have to suppress their natural instinct to want to reproduce. I am sure there are men that have the same feelings of knowing that "that is all folks." 3 Girls and Not one boy to carry on the family name. Or... 2 boys and not having the opportunity to attend a daddy/daughter dance. Vice versus for the moms. I am sure it's a deep dark unresolved issue for some and a lot of resentment begins to set in and chip away at every fragment. Many women or men... May say to themselves..."You know if this doesn't work out.. I can go and start a new family with another."
It happens.. (I seen and I have read about it!)
Now.. Adoption... is wonderful and always on the table for those who wish to have more after the cut.
However, you have to have both parties agree upon pursuing this path. It is a very important decision and one that will change the course of your family and life. A wonderful one but life changing.
Communication....
Where am I going with all of this ... When the time comes... COMMUNICATION is key!
Click here -Great article on why it's SOOOO important to Communicate before Vasectomy
Click here - Interesting Read regarding Regretting the Vasectomy Decision
Communicate your feelings!!
your hesitations.
your plan moving forward.
your desires.
make a list of pros & cons
(if the top of the list seems to be something you keep going back to ...then you either are ready or you are not)
Timing....
Hold off on snipping postpartum!
Never a good time to decide on anything.
My advice give yourself and your husband/partner some time to communicate and decide on such an important relationship/family decision.
Give it a year or two!!
It happens.. (I seen and I have read about it!)
Now.. Adoption... is wonderful and always on the table for those who wish to have more after the cut.
However, you have to have both parties agree upon pursuing this path. It is a very important decision and one that will change the course of your family and life. A wonderful one but life changing.
Communication....
Where am I going with all of this ... When the time comes... COMMUNICATION is key!
Click here -Great article on why it's SOOOO important to Communicate before Vasectomy
Click here - Interesting Read regarding Regretting the Vasectomy Decision
Communicate your feelings!!
your hesitations.
your plan moving forward.
your desires.
make a list of pros & cons
(if the top of the list seems to be something you keep going back to ...then you either are ready or you are not)
Timing....
Hold off on snipping postpartum!
Never a good time to decide on anything.
My advice give yourself and your husband/partner some time to communicate and decide on such an important relationship/family decision.
Give it a year or two!!
Experts say ... make sure YOU or YOUR husband/partner have no doubts before making this decision.
Regrets.....
If you are one of the many that have regrets... you need to talk with someone (a Professional Counselor) and especially with your husband. Get it out! Discuss your anxiety. Its extremely important for yourself and your marriage.
Here are some stories to share regarding others who have had the same regrets and their stories.
Don't take this decision lightly and remember ... there are options out there and you are not alone.
Make a decision for life!!!!
Remember that reversals for men are an option as well as adoption.
Love to hear your thoughts and comments regarding this very important life decision!
(DISCLAIMER*****I am not by any means a professional counselor or a medical personnel or a psychologist...advice strictly mom based and based on opinion. )
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
DID I almost just hit a BABY with my SUV????
Yep, you read the title right.
Keep reading...
Here's my story,
I was driving around a long winding country road to my parents house this weekend, gabbing on the phone, when all of the sudden my 5 year old yells, "MOM, there's a baby in the road!"
The country road to my parents house has very few homes, very very few people (Let alone children) on it. On occasion there are a few deer that pop out and cause me to have to pump the brakes..BUT 98.5% of the time ... it's free of obstacles and things that I would need to be uber cautious about unlike my pedestrian packed neighborhood.
Since I am out in BFE .. I drive without caution and slightly above the speed limit on this road. SO.. the thought of any being standing in the middle of a country road would be something of a Shock to me.. let alone a baby!!!
Being a mom of three, most of my driving is facing backwards and with one hand reaching on the backseat floor for misalliance toys or sippy cups that the baby drops. She usually needs me to pick them up immediately or she will repeat "Mama, I need my baba.. OR Mama, Need Baby, Mama, Need Baby!" louder and louder ... making it very hard to concentrate on driving.
So... needless to say... I am an accident waiting to happen. I would say I fall in the majority of Moms On wheels due to the consistency of what I have seen and heard of regarding the Typical MOM way of driving consisting of the following:
Ok so back to the story..
As I looked up to see what my son was talking about when he yelled, "MOM there's a baby in the road."... I could barely make out a 2 foot red headed figure walking towards the front right wheel of my SUV in the middle of the country road. I was in shock and of course barely could think to put my car in park or pull over to the side of the road... but rather jump out of my SUV and race to the little being standing there wondering where she was and who I was.
If it hadn't have been for my son pointing out that there was a baby in the road - I was within split seconds from slamming into this precious little being. (Having a hard time swallowing that one.. as I am writing this)
SO... as I picked her up and raced to the side of the road... a young boy came running around the front of a house... yelling that's my sister. I was in shock. Where was the mom? Did she not know she was outside? Was she running around looking for her in a panic? I "Nicely" but with a shiver in my voice... asked, "Where is your mommy at?" He replied in his 6 year old voice.."Inside vacuuming."
Standing there in shock... I thought.. "OMG... seriously???"
Just then... the mom raced outside shaking ... saying "Oh My God... Oh My God.... I couldn't find her." I told her .. "This could have been devastating for both of us. My son pointed out that there was a baby in the road and I stopped just in time." I felt nauseated as I said that to her.
As she was talking and trying to explain that she was finishing up vacuuming from lunch... and that she realized she was gone ... and was scouring the house looking for her.....I have to be honest... I was in complete shock wasn't really listening to her reasoning... BUT.. realizing that someone had saved me from My WHOLE WORLD turning upside. It could have happened in a matter of just a few seconds.
How could I have lived with myself ... knowing that I was completely distracted... and not completely and totally paying attention while driving with my little ones as well as being selfishly unaffected and unaware of what is along the side of the road. My kids, my life, my husband and everything I would have known to be perfect and pure would have gone right out the window ... knowing that I hit a beautiful little being.
As I was explaining what just had happened to my husband on the phone... you could sense that his stomach was in knots just listening to the story.
I was reading about Distracted Driving online and I will tell you it is alarming to hear about the deaths and fatalities that happen when MOMs get distracted while driving. Many times it's not the mom who gets harmed its the children or a child along the side of the road. Here is a wonderful link I found talking about Distracted Driving among Moms.
This was a wake up call for me to realize that things can happen! My life and hers were sparred unfortunately many have not had that same luck. I count my blessings that my son spoke up and am grateful to him for that.
I would love to hear from moms on their tricks on how they keep the distractions to a minimum especially when it comes to traveling with your child.
I ALMOST HIT A BABY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD WITH MY SUV!
Keep reading...
Here's my story,
I was driving around a long winding country road to my parents house this weekend, gabbing on the phone, when all of the sudden my 5 year old yells, "MOM, there's a baby in the road!"
The country road to my parents house has very few homes, very very few people (Let alone children) on it. On occasion there are a few deer that pop out and cause me to have to pump the brakes..BUT 98.5% of the time ... it's free of obstacles and things that I would need to be uber cautious about unlike my pedestrian packed neighborhood.
Since I am out in BFE .. I drive without caution and slightly above the speed limit on this road. SO.. the thought of any being standing in the middle of a country road would be something of a Shock to me.. let alone a baby!!!
Being a mom of three, most of my driving is facing backwards and with one hand reaching on the backseat floor for misalliance toys or sippy cups that the baby drops. She usually needs me to pick them up immediately or she will repeat "Mama, I need my baba.. OR Mama, Need Baby, Mama, Need Baby!" louder and louder ... making it very hard to concentrate on driving.
So... needless to say... I am an accident waiting to happen. I would say I fall in the majority of Moms On wheels due to the consistency of what I have seen and heard of regarding the Typical MOM way of driving consisting of the following:
1. Knee Driving - Hands free to get backseat toys, open drink boxes etc...
2. Makes most of her phone calls in the car.. because the movie is playing to preoccupy my little passengers
3. Usually has 3-4 sippy cups or drink boxes in the cupholders-half opened and spilling with every turn
4. diaper bags, changing outfits and hockey helmets stacked in the front passengers seat to almost the height of a passenger -
5. Catching toys thrown at me as i am driving.. which there has been a few times where they roll under the brake pedal (I stopped that nonsense the first time around)
6. Cracks the window of the car just in case I can't hear the roar of a firetruck or ambulance due to the similar sounds that the Children's video is playing at volume level 40 in the car.
7. Always facing backwards ... and reprimanding at the same time while operating a 2,000 lb vehicle.
There are some days where I wished that I had a window (similar to a limo Privacy window) that I could roll up and tune out all the nonsense in the backseat and just focus on driving. I'd let them battle it out and I would have complete and total silence in the front seat.
See the most amazing scene from 'The Secret to My Success"... to understand how wonderful it could be!
Ok so back to the story..
As I looked up to see what my son was talking about when he yelled, "MOM there's a baby in the road."... I could barely make out a 2 foot red headed figure walking towards the front right wheel of my SUV in the middle of the country road. I was in shock and of course barely could think to put my car in park or pull over to the side of the road... but rather jump out of my SUV and race to the little being standing there wondering where she was and who I was.
If it hadn't have been for my son pointing out that there was a baby in the road - I was within split seconds from slamming into this precious little being. (Having a hard time swallowing that one.. as I am writing this)
SO... as I picked her up and raced to the side of the road... a young boy came running around the front of a house... yelling that's my sister. I was in shock. Where was the mom? Did she not know she was outside? Was she running around looking for her in a panic? I "Nicely" but with a shiver in my voice... asked, "Where is your mommy at?" He replied in his 6 year old voice.."Inside vacuuming."
Standing there in shock... I thought.. "OMG... seriously???"
Just then... the mom raced outside shaking ... saying "Oh My God... Oh My God.... I couldn't find her." I told her .. "This could have been devastating for both of us. My son pointed out that there was a baby in the road and I stopped just in time." I felt nauseated as I said that to her.
As she was talking and trying to explain that she was finishing up vacuuming from lunch... and that she realized she was gone ... and was scouring the house looking for her.....I have to be honest... I was in complete shock wasn't really listening to her reasoning... BUT.. realizing that someone had saved me from My WHOLE WORLD turning upside. It could have happened in a matter of just a few seconds.
How could I have lived with myself ... knowing that I was completely distracted... and not completely and totally paying attention while driving with my little ones as well as being selfishly unaffected and unaware of what is along the side of the road. My kids, my life, my husband and everything I would have known to be perfect and pure would have gone right out the window ... knowing that I hit a beautiful little being.
As I was explaining what just had happened to my husband on the phone... you could sense that his stomach was in knots just listening to the story.
I was reading about Distracted Driving online and I will tell you it is alarming to hear about the deaths and fatalities that happen when MOMs get distracted while driving. Many times it's not the mom who gets harmed its the children or a child along the side of the road. Here is a wonderful link I found talking about Distracted Driving among Moms.
Photo Courtesy of Getty Images.com
I have to address the mom of the 19 month baby that I almost hit. This can happen to any parent. How often have you vacuumed after the lunch table or pulled laundry out of the dryer while your little one is in the play room? BE HONEST... everyday????
I know I have. I always think... oh, she is playing with toys... or with her brothers . Have you ever thought.. about the possible risks that can happen when you take your eyes off of your toddler?
This toddler figured out how to turn the knob on the handle and let herself outside.
My advice, high locks and lock them each and every day.
Here is a great article regarding keeping your child safe when you are not able to keep one eye on them at all times.
I found that there are great door alarms that can be triggered by any toddler and will give you a heads up if he/she tries to escape.
One that I found should be used inside the home or on gates especially if you have a pool.
Range from $49.00 on up
This was a wake up call for me to realize that things can happen! My life and hers were sparred unfortunately many have not had that same luck. I count my blessings that my son spoke up and am grateful to him for that.
I would love to hear from moms on their tricks on how they keep the distractions to a minimum especially when it comes to traveling with your child.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Skill Sprout Child Task Master -HIGHLY Recommend!
We went to the most amazing Children's Hospital of Illinois Fundraiser. See my Ad for the Sunny Day with Julie K event. The Prizes and Give aways were amazing! I would strongly recommend getting it on your calendar to attend for next year. They had circus performers, Photo booths, Julie K Performing her famous Children's Song, a fashion show and an amazing luncheon. Great entertainment for family and especially for children. This year there was over 500 guests attending this wonderful event and tons of donations and money was raised to help with the Children's Hospital of Illinois.
One of the door giveaways was a Skill Sprout Task Masters. THIS IS A GODSEND! It is an amazing tool to use to get your kiddos organized and learning how to build skills, recognize tasks to do and learn to get them done. I was looking for a way to get my kiddos up and ready to go in the morning without straining my vocal chords!
One of the door giveaways was a Skill Sprout Task Masters. THIS IS A GODSEND! It is an amazing tool to use to get your kiddos organized and learning how to build skills, recognize tasks to do and learn to get them done. I was looking for a way to get my kiddos up and ready to go in the morning without straining my vocal chords!
Skill Sprout was handing out these amazing tools to get our little ones on track in the morning and eliminate stressful school days.
We already have ours set up for Monday morning! I would check into additional services Skill Sprout has to offer to help with early learning, autism, social skill building etc....
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